Wednesday, June 3, 2009

well, i mean, i guess...

Not to play up or into the stereotype of ‘women being indecisive’ (because we are all different and I know many men that are indecisive as well) but I must admit for me personally I can be indecisive at times. This is not to say that I can not make a decision or that I don’t know what I want, but many times I am perfectly content with others making a decision and don't really think about the consequence of the decision. We are all faced with decisions throughout our day. There is no way around it. We need to choose between waking up and hitting the snooze button. We have to choose between showering and using extra hair products (I always prefer the showering – no choosing involved for me). We choose to go to our place of employment, school, or wherever it is you are ‘supposed’ to go (even if it doesn’t feel like a choice). Do you drive, walk or carpool? Coffee or no coffee (as if that’s a real choice!)? Do you bring lunch or buy it? You get the point.

Our choices go on and on… They are constant and a lot of times we don’t even really put much thought into the fact that we are making all those choices. But what if we did spend more time thinking about our choices? Our choices have the greatest impact on our lives and in many instances our choices impact others. My choice to write this blog will cause you to have to make a choice to read it or not and will hopefully have a positive impact of you. Not a big deal though, right? It could be an easy choice for you to make.


But what happens when this is the situation: A man chooses to leave his wife and 9 month old child. The impact of the choice the man made on the wife and the child is enormous. The amount and weight of the choices the wife/mother now needs to make has drastically changed. The impact on a 9 month of child does not weigh any less. That child will live with the consequences of the man’s choice. That child will have to choose to or not to believe that it’s their fault, that they are worthy of love, that they will not do that to their child. I have witnessed firsthand a friend that has struggled with his identity and social anxiety because his biological father left him when he was 9 months old (there may be more reasons, but was the starting point for him). He has had to learn and believe that his identity is in Christ and not the choice of a selfish man. He has to daily choose to declare that he is a son of the King and that he is worthy of love. He has to choose to not live in a place of fear of man and rejection. Wow…one man’s choice forever altered my friend’s life!

I see tons of these types of stories working for a non-profit that helps women who struggle with life-controlling issues. No one story less or of greater importance than the other. Each equally heart breaking. I wonder if the person that made a choice fully understood the implication of their choice would have on another person. Or were they completely selfish and chose what was best for them and at that moment? Would we do some of the things we do if we thought about the ramifications our choice would have on others?

However, if choice can have a negative impact, then the opposite must be true and choice can have a positive impact (the same goes for habits – if we can have a bad one, we can most definitely have a good one too). We can not change the past, but we can choose to change the future. We can decide that we will choose carefully and consider the outcome beforehand. We will make mistakes and not always make the best choices, but we can make an effort to bring life with our choices. We can choose to help the widow, feed the hungry, clothe the homeless, and so on. We can choose to speak life into people. We can choose to laugh a little more and let go of the past. We can choose life and to overcome. We can choose to put others first. We can choose to not let the past determine our future. We can choose to make better choices.

Choosing to do something is not effortless. Choosing to do the right thing is not always the easy route and sometime inconvenient. Yet, I think about how different things would have been for my friend if his dad made the choice to stick around. I think about how different the life of another friend would have been if the person who molested her chose not to. I think about how different my life would have been if my parents did not choose to raise me in/with the fear of the Lord. Those big choices are just as important as the less regarded choices. The ‘smaller’ choices can impact the course of life just as much as the bigger ones. If my parents didn’t choose to talk and pray each night before bed and take me to church, I might not have been so inclined to make the choices I make now. They made ‘smaller’ choices that are life altering for me and my siblings.

Our choices carry weight. The question is what importance will we place on our choices? As for me, I choose to not be so flippant with my choices and decisions.

xo much love xo

Monday, June 1, 2009

When you're living in a La La Land...

After a weekend...here's some thoughts...

Slow Burn was incredible as usual on Thursday. God blessed me by allowing me to pray for a group of gorgeous girls (four 18 year olds). He laid upon my heart certain things as I prayed and even while I was saying them I was quite unsure why I was. It was only until after service when I had a chance to talk to these girls (that i have never met before) and find out more about them was I able to understand why I prayed for certain things. God was definitely up to something in their lives and I am so excited that I had an opportunity to pray for these beautiful world changers. I am looking forward to seeing how wonderfully God works in and through them during the summer and when they return to school in the fall. So exciting to see women rise up and take their place! I honor those princesses for stepping up and digging deeper! I'm blessed by them and definitely by God!

Friday was my birthday. I turned 29. Wow...29. It's still so unreal. No, I'm not freaking out over the number...it's just a little unbelievable that time has flown by. It was a wonderful birthday. It was full of laughs, friends, family and games. I was showered and blessed with well wishes. Games were played well into the night and it was good. I got to play Quelf...a game that I made fun of (a lot), but had never played. It actually was a blast, but don't tell Brooklyn that! Speaking of B...she's pretty much one of the coolest ladies I'm met in the past 6 months. She got Jesus all over her and is dreaming big! I got to do lunch with her last week and I think we're working on a weekly thing now because when something is good...well, keep doing it, right? And, B, is good. I love her heart and know that God is using her in HUGE ways.

I stayed in my jammies all day Saturday. I was exhuasted from the party and the hecticness of life in general. The only thing that could have made the day better was having the house completely to myself. It's been really hard having a full house all the time. The foreign exchange student has crazy hours and i'm not quite sure when she sleeps because she wakes me up at ALL hours of the night with some sort of noise. Her final night with us was last night though...and it was a rough one. I woke up several times throughout the night to doors opening and closing. But I digress...Saturday was laid back.

Sunday was beautiful outside and I tried to be out there for as long as I could. The Christ Church Youth and Junior Highers left for Jubilee on Sunday afternoon. I'm a little sad that I'm not there with them. But, I am glad that I didn't miss SundayPM service. Thad Barnum spoke and it was wonderful and intriguing. If you ever get an opportunity to hear him speak, it's totally worth it. I believe Christ Church will be putting together a collection of his sermons from this past weekend. I'm looking forward to hearing them. Dinner with the guys and Andrea afterwards was good too. I enjoy spending time with the guys...maybe because I am surrounded by women all day at work...none-the-less, they are good guys. I'm glad I've got some godly men in my life that love Jesus!

Well...I know that I'm supposed to post the Strengths Finder updates...I'll get to them. Hopefully I will start on tomorrow.
xo much love xo